Silencing Your Inner Critic

Back in early February it was suggested to me that I could do a weekly Zoom call on career growth to better connect with the people I serve. It was a great idea, I have all the tools needed, I’m comfortable on video, I have lots of topics, and I’d been doing something similar on Facebook for 6 months. So why not? I was excited about a new way to increase my reach and impact. Awesome!

Yet, when it came time to make it happen I found one reason after another to stall, delay, or otherwise procrastinate. My inner critic had come up with about 1,000 reasons why this would never work. She reminded me of these repeatedly every time I would set a target date to launch. So, March became May which became June. I was letting that nasty inner critic keep me from moving forward.

Once I got control of the critic I was able to move forward with confidence. It took some real work to change my dialog. Doing something new was scary and so that doubt crept back in. I started tuning into what was playing in the back of my mind. Once I really listened to what was being said, I could change the dialog.

We all have an inner critic, and they do serve a purpose. However, if we don’t manage the relationship they can become our enemy. Finding the right balance is the key to keeping the critic from stopping your growth and progress.

Here are a few tips to make that work for you:

1. Tune in: We constantly have a dialog playing in the back of our mind. It can be like a radio station playing softly, it’s background noise. To manage the inner critic, we have to stop and really listen to what is playing in the background.
2. Be honest: Take time to reflect on what you are hearing and be honest with yourself about whether it’s true. The inner critic seems credible because it’s coming from our own mind, and yet she isn’t giving you the whole picture. She’s sharing one perspective so look closely at the facts.
3. Name the critic: One way to separate your thoughts from the inner critic is to visualize and name her. This allows you to say think of the critic’s comments as coming from someone else. This helps you recognize that these statements are one perspective. It also allows you to say the critic is wrong. (Mine is Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West)
4. Change the tune: When you find yourself playing that broken record of reasons it won’t work, hit pause, and find an upbeat record to play. Think about all your successes, reflect on how far you’ve come, and remember with gratitude the compliments you’ve gotten over the years. There is so much good in your life so take time to remember and reflect on it.

The inner critic can help you realize when things may go wrong, but she doesn’t have to control your actions or your thoughts. When we give into her, she can hold us back and keep us from achieving our dreams. Learning to manage that relationship will help you grow and reach your goals.

Reference sources:

3 Ways to Outsmart Your Inner Critic by Christa Smith, April 30, 2015, Psychology Today

Living With Your Inner Critic: 8 Helpful Worksheets and Activities by Anna Katharina Schaffner, Oct 28, 2020, Positive Psychology

How Your Inner Critic Is Holding You Back, Melissa Ambrosini, TEDxMonashUniversity