Taking Chances, Taking Action

Today is one of those days where I’m dragging my feet, looking for reasons I won’t be available later, or any other reason to skip out on a professional virtual networking event. Crazy right? I signed up to attend the event, it’s with a group that I value, and I want to make connections in my new city. So why am I hesitating? It turns out that getting back into networking is harder than I expected, and I’ve always been challenged by it.

Now I have a choice to either give into my nerves or get past them. It’s really tempting to avoid it; really, really tempting. I’m not feeling 100%, my voice has been rough due to allergies for days. How easy would it be to say, not going to do it today, I’ll make the next one? And yet, I really want to start making more connections, getting to know people in my new area so why not go? It’s virtual, easy enough to do and could be fun.

I’ve had these kinds of moments many times over my career, conferences, networking events or even training I’ve signed up for. These are always things I want to do but the idea of being in a large group of people I don’t know is uncomfortable for me. I’m an introvert at heart even though I love working with people. While I may be uncomfortable about what I’ve signed up for, I’m willing to take the chance and move forward.

Here are 3 tips I use to get past the nerves and take the chance:

1. Take several deep breaths. Breathe in calm, breathe out worry. These need to be deep breaths, deep enough to push out your belly button. This is called diaphragmatic breathing. Focus on the air coming in and the air going out. Stop thinking about anything else for a few moments.
2. As you calm down, pause for a moment, and reflect on why you signed up, or agreed to, what is making you nervous. You signed up to get some benefit: learning, connections, exposure to new ideas, or what ever it was. Reconnecting with the reasons you made this choice helps your mind remember all the reasons and counter acts the fear.
3. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if you proceed? Ask what is the worst thing that could happen if you hold back? Now that you know the works case scenarios ask yourself what is possible if you proceed or if you skip out. Understand your options and their impacts.

All these steps are designed to get the neo-cortex re-engaged in the situation. Often the fear of taking that chance is because your fight or flight response has been triggered. Your emotional memories have hijacked your thinking about the situation, so you are having an emotional response. To get past the emotions get your thinking brain involved again.

Honor the feelings and the emotions. They are there for a reason. You have a history that is reminding you of past experiences. They can give you insights into things you can do to be comfortable moving forward. Getting your emotions under control helps you move forward towards your goals.

It can be scary doing something that makes you uncomfortable, yet great things can follow if you act and move forward. Be brave, take the chance.

Now I’m off to my networking event….. see you around.