Strategies to go from merely surviving to THRIVING for women in STEM
Be Brilliant & Be Heard
When I started working in the mid-1980s I was a novelty in many ways, a young female engineer working on a naval station. There were no other women engineers in the Engineering Division when I started and only a few on base. Even though I had gone through an engineering degree program, I wasn’t ready for the reality of how hard it was going to be to be accepted and respected. Those first years, at multiple employers, were bumpy, frustrating and at times down-right demoralizing. More than once I questioned whether I could make it or not.
Fortunately, I had been told I could do anything, and my mom had taken the path less traveled in her short career, so I knew it could be done. With time and experience I got better at connecting and communicating with my co-workers and managers. That did more to build my credibility than anything else I did. In turn my confidence grew, which helped me be even better at communication and my credibility grew more.
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When was the last time you approached someone for help and started the conversation with “Sorry to bother you”? Why did you say that? Often, we do it to be polite and acknowledge the interruption. That is all well and good, however there is no reason to apologize for asking for help.
We need to recognize that people are busy and likely engrossed in what they are doing. It is polite to recognize that we are interrupting them. It doesn’t warrant an apology, you haven’t made a mistake or done anything wrong. Save the apology for when it’s appropriate such as “Sorry I’m late getting you this information the system was down, and I couldn’t get into the database.”
When we apologize when it isn’t warranted, we diminish our credibility and it comes across as a lack of confidence. Studies show that women find more reasons to apologize then men do. Why are you undermining yourself by apologizing?
4 Ways to be...
When you are communicating information to others how quickly do you get to the point? Do you hit them between the eyes with the bottom line or do you spend 5 minutes laying the groundwork for the decision? Maybe you fall somewhere in between. All are valid options and needed in different situations. The next question is how does your audience respond? Do they shy away from the blunt data or do their eyes glaze over at the details? To get your point across you need to tailor your delivery to the audience’s style not yours.
To understand which style to use with your audience you need to have an understanding of their preference and their needs. What do they need to get from the information and how do they like information presented to them.
Being direct is great when:
We’ve all gotten mixed signals at work at one point or another. One manager says “Speak up more” while another tells you to “Let others speak up”. So, which is it? Talk more or talk less?
What if it’s both?
If you are getting conflicting feedback from different managers take a few minutes to reflect on why they have different messages. You need to look at what is going on and driving the feedback.
Things to look for:
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